Lord’s Library contributor Jared Helms offers commentary on the danger of selfish prayer and how to avoid it. Check out Jared’s YouTube channel and two blogs: A Light in the Darkness and Blind Faith Examples, or send him a reader response email. Lord’s Library’s Ministry Leaders Series is a collection of contributed articles written by ministry leaders on key Christian topics.
We all have needs, and not one of us can meet those needs apart from God’s provision. That is the reality that undergirds the most effective sort of prayer. It is right to seek from God our daily bread by which we mean all the things we need in a day to accomplish His will for us. It is absolutely right to ask that of our Father in Heaven just as Jesus taught in Matthew 6.
The danger is not in asking for things, but in asking for things to spend on ourselves, and in doing nothing more. That sort of prayer turns God into a genie and renders our prayers ineffective. See James 4:3: “Ye ask, and receive not, because ye ask amiss, that ye may consume it upon your lusts.”
When our hearts are selfish, they are out of line with the Heart of God. He came not to be served, but to serve, but we often come to be served and not to serve. That kind of disconnect cannot help but strain the communication, and the relationship.
The Danger of Selfish Prayer
In the model prayer of Matthew 6, the first request is for God to be glorified as His will is done, and then come the more personal requests for daily provision, and for forgiveness. The model prayer is truncated (edited down to its most basic and necessary components), but the order is significant.
Our passions can run away with us and our prayers. By focusing first on God the passions are brought in line. That is easily written, but not easily done. Passions are powerful, and our hearts are deceitful. Sometimes we must go to battle with our passion in prayer, pressing our hearts godward till the turmoil of selfish desires is silenced and our wills submitted to God.
Ah, but that takes time and we have so precious little to spend, and often our needs are urgent. Take heart that God is all-knowing and all-knowing. Our requests to God can be very, very simple. A quick, “God help.” Is enough for He knows exactly what help you need. We can certainly pour out all of the trouble to our Heavenly Father, our Lord, and our Comforter; but we do not have to.
We can talk to God about what we would like, but He does not need our advice to know what to do. That is why we pray because God is God. So, the position of the heart is much more important than the words themselves. Our hearts should be more focused on who we are going to than what we are going for.
If the horse is dead what is the harm in beating it? The harm in selfishness is that it disconnects us from the power of prayer by taking our eyes off God. That orientation is what dictates everything else about prayer. And that dear readers is why I go out of my way to emphasize both the positive and negatives at every step along the way.
The spiritual disciplines of fasting and vigils help us to master our selfish desires and appetites, while also freeing up time for concentrated prayer. It is a powerful statement to our own hearts and minds when we forgo necessary things in order to give ourselves to something more necessary. We will speak more about these disciplines in a later section.
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- How to Pray According to the Bible: How Should We Pray? - February 23, 2025
